HUMOR

HUMOR

Need to Know is as serious as it gets, but laughter is good for the soul and helps to keep our equilibrium amid the chaos. So, here are quips, gags, and images to put a smile on your face. If you have some you would like to share, please send them here.

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning one of his cars for an upcoming show. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.

“Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you should consider selling your cars and your gun collection.”

Tom gets a horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

“There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

“Ex wife!”, she screams, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!!!!!!!”

Tom’s reply: “I wasn’t”.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.