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HUMOR

Need to Know is as serious as it gets, but laughter is good for the soul and helps to keep our equilibrium amid the chaos. So, here are quips, gags, and images to put a smile on your face. If you have some you would like to share, please send them here.

Isn’t it amazing that, during the mad-cow epidemic. the US government was able to track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they also tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11-million illegal aliens wandering around the country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq …. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we’re not using it anymore.

The real reason the Ten Commandments can’t be posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot say ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal,’ ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ or ‘Thou Shall Not Lie’ in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

I think most people my age are older than I am.

It’s a terrible moment when you are singing a song you used to sing as a kid and you suddenly understand the lyrics.

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room, and I said to them: “I never want to live in a vegtative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.” They got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine, the little brats.