HUMOR | Need To Know News

HUMOR

Need to Know is as serious as it gets, but laughter is good for the soul and helps to keep our equilibrium amid the chaos. So, here are quips, gags, and images to put a smile on your face. If you have some you would like to share, please send them here.

Dear Tony,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget? I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoos and pierced nose. I now realize that motorcycles aren’t really THAT dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job. I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park.

Sure, my daughter is only eighteen and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship but, after all, you can’t learn everything about life from college or books.

I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses, and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.

Sincerely,
Ralph
Your future father-in-law
P.S. Congratulations on winning the lottery.

Inside Psychiatry's
Covert Agenda
(documentary)

RECHARGE
Aging is linked to shortening of telomeres, the tips of chromo-somes found in all cells.Every time cells replace themselves, telomeres become shorter. Eventually, they become so short that chromosomes are damaged and cells no longer can regenerate. Aging is the result. RECHARGE holds the promise of reversing that process. (More)

FREEDOM IN ONE LESSON
A Discourse by G. Edward Griffin.Agents of a just state derive authority solely from the citizens they serve. That means the state may use physical force to do only those things that individual citizens may use force to do, which is the defense of life, liberty, and property - nothing more. The state, therefore, must be purely defensive, not creative or aggressive, in all that it does. Freedom flows from that. DVD (More)

THE CREATURE FROM JEKYLL ISLAND; A Second Look at The Federal Reserve, by G. Edward Griffin. This is the classic exposure of the Fed that has become one of the best-selling books in its category of all time. 5th Edition includes a no-holds barred analysis of bank bailouts under the Bush and Obama Administrations that are shown to be nothing less than legalized plunder of the American people. (More)

TAKE BACK YOUR POWER
The 2013 NSA spying scandal exposed vast programs to monitor personal phone calls and emails. Now governments and utility companies are working together to reach into homes by means of so-called "smart meters" and data-harvesting devices. The results are surveillance of private activities, higher electric bills, and a proven health risk. DVD(More)

GOT CHEMTRAIL TOXICITY?
EnvioShield was developed to combat the symptoms of toxicity that many people experience during times when the sky is laden with gray haze from high-flying aircraft. It includes a wide spectrum of herbal remedies and nutritional supplements known for their ability to help eliminate toxic metals, chemicals, and pathogens. (More)

WORLD WITHOUT CANCER

The Story of Vitamin B17 G. Edward Griffin marshals evidence that cancer is a deficiency disease, like scurvy or pellagra, caused by the lack of an essential food factor in modern man's diet. That substance is amygdalin, also known as vitamin B17 or Laetrile. Why has orthodox medicine rejected this concept? The answer is to be found, not in science, but in politics ‒ the economic agenda of those who dominate the medical industry. (More)

FOLIUM pX
Users report that it removed heavy metals and radio-active elements from their bodies. It is a blend of herbals and flowers found in the Georgia region of Eastern Europe and was used successfully to treat victims of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. If you are concerned over exposure to radio-active contaminants in the environment or food supply, you should check this out. (More)

GLOBAL WARMING AND GLOBAL FEUDALISM
A discourse by G. Edward Griffin.Griffin fields questions about the UN, global warming, and how these topics are tied together. Is the UN our last best hope for peace or global feudalism? Who controls the UN? What is Agenda 21? Is population-control justified to save the planet? Is the UN's report on global warming based on science or politics? If the mission of the World Health Organization is not world health, then what is it? (More)

REMOVE CHLORINE FROM YOUR SHOWER

It is common for health-conscious families to install chlorine-removal filters in their kitchens, but we absorb more chlorine through our skin when taking a bath than we do from drinking water. That's because the body's skin surface is larger than the intestinal surface and because the lungs, too, are efficient absorbers, and we inhale a substantial amount of chlorine gas while bathing. (More)

BLUE
We are told that human activity is threatening the Earth. The 'green' response is to sacrifice freedom, living standards, and property rights to save the planet. This is not a sustainable solution because it ends in human servitude to the state. The real agenda is not conservancy of nature, but political control over people. The new Green is merely the old Red. BLUE exposes this subversive agenda. (More)

HEALING THE GERSON WAY
Diseases like cancer have been cured by a therapy that has been known for over 80 years. It is based on a simple and logical principle: The body can resist most diseases if it has access to the nutrients found in natural foods. The way to treat these diseases is not to attack the symptoms with toxic drugs but to restore the missing nutrients. This book shows how to do that. (More)

LAETRILE CASE HISTORIES
62 case histories proving that Laetrile works in the control of cancer. Each history is backed by a firm diagnosis and medical documentation. Includes a follow-up 30 years after these patients were diagnosed as "incurable." Proof is in their life-span after being told they had just a few months to live. (More)

STATE OF MIND The Psychology of Control.

Our beliefs determine our actions, and our actions shape our lives. Our reality tomorrow depends on our beliefs today. Be aware of the scientific techniques that shape beliefs without our knowledge. (More)

WHY IN THE WORLD ARE THEY SPRAYING?

Answers: (1) Metallic particles in the atmosphere make it possible to control the weather, which is a military priority for many countries. (2) Weather Derivatives are traded in the stock market as a hedge against crop failure. If you can control weather, you can make a fortune. Those who think that chemtrails are just water vapor will be stunned. DVD. (More)